Raw and gutted.

It's hard to keep my chin up all the time.

My doctor's are worried about my wrists and my heart.  If my wrists continue as they are, I've been told that soon I'll 'lose them altogether'.  Which doesn't sound good to me.

I, on the other hand am constantly reminded of how miraculous it is that I have improved this much.  If you've ever been sick, with very little hope, and you start getting better, the world is a very diffferent place; I have to pinch myself every day. 

I've been blindly hoping that my wrists will follow the rest of my body's lead, and get better.  But my Doctor's aren't on the same page.  Their concern has got me worried.

I've got a deadline of 4 months from today to get healthy, before I have to re-consider my other options (chemo, biological drugs etc).

This has hit me rather hard.